it doesn't get easier. you just get used to it.
i'm trying to get used to it.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
photograph
been reading/listening to Andrea Gibson nonstop since i got to see her perform back in November. that was one of the most amazing experiences of my LIFE.
listen to this.
sooooo beautiful.
today i'm inspired--- and REALLY thinking about moving somewhere else. i love my life and my family and my friends and everything about this place. . . . but i also feel an overwhelming need to just try it on my own.
we'll see. . .
listen to this.
sooooo beautiful.
today i'm inspired--- and REALLY thinking about moving somewhere else. i love my life and my family and my friends and everything about this place. . . . but i also feel an overwhelming need to just try it on my own.
we'll see. . .
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
sometimes
i wake up happy.
actually, scratch that.
i almost ALWAYS wake up happy (unless i have a workout planned which causes serious dread)...
i'm an obnoxiously cheerful morning person. i LOVE this side of the day. that first sip of coffee? that first peek at the sun? watching the adorable old couple walk past my house at the crack of dawn EVERY day? LOVE IT.
favorite moments.
it's AFTERWARDS that my general tendency towards melancholy kicks in. . .usually around eleven o'clock. maybe it's an energy slump kind of thing, or (more likely) it's just the fact that it's no longer morning and i can't put off doing all the horrible things i have to do that day.. . . . like work and pay bills. (i don't hate my job, i just would prefer not to do it) .........
it can't be morning all the time. i get that. i just have to figure out a way to make it FEEL that way . . . . .
actually, scratch that.
i almost ALWAYS wake up happy (unless i have a workout planned which causes serious dread)...
i'm an obnoxiously cheerful morning person. i LOVE this side of the day. that first sip of coffee? that first peek at the sun? watching the adorable old couple walk past my house at the crack of dawn EVERY day? LOVE IT.
favorite moments.
it's AFTERWARDS that my general tendency towards melancholy kicks in. . .usually around eleven o'clock. maybe it's an energy slump kind of thing, or (more likely) it's just the fact that it's no longer morning and i can't put off doing all the horrible things i have to do that day.. . . . like work and pay bills. (i don't hate my job, i just would prefer not to do it) .........
it can't be morning all the time. i get that. i just have to figure out a way to make it FEEL that way . . . . .
Sunday, December 5, 2010
moving
i don't have any immediate plans to go anywhere (i certainly can't move until my lease is up, which isn't until summertime anyway) but lately all i can think about is going somewhere else.
sometimes i think i just need to move back to the country. find some little tiny house with some land, get a horse and a garden and a reason to get up in the morning. . . (but then the thought of that kind of terrifies me, because i can absolutely see myself turning into a hermit with no friends......)
i'm not really financially able to think about much of anything except paying necessary bills right now though- and moving costs. i don't want to move again just to rent (though i think i've said that about EVERY single place i've ever lived...)
i guess right now is just about doing what i have to do.
sometimes i think i just need to move back to the country. find some little tiny house with some land, get a horse and a garden and a reason to get up in the morning. . . (but then the thought of that kind of terrifies me, because i can absolutely see myself turning into a hermit with no friends......)
i'm not really financially able to think about much of anything except paying necessary bills right now though- and moving costs. i don't want to move again just to rent (though i think i've said that about EVERY single place i've ever lived...)
i guess right now is just about doing what i have to do.
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