i realized something the other day: aside from reasons stated before, the only reason i really think about leaving this place is because everyone else seems to hate it so. i have a fear of five years from now being the only one left here because all my friends have moved away. i don't mind this town, (though i'd prefer being in the country) and i LOVE this area of Missouri i live in. the woods and the hills and the winds that howls--- i honestly don't know if i could live without it.
it's scary, this growing older. i don't have anyone to plan anything with, and that's kind of lonely sometimes.
my dream is to have a little cabin in the woods somewhere where i don't see neighbors and i can just be in the peace and quiet. i'm really not as interested in social activities as it may seem, and if i could just somehow find a way to afford living OUT then i would. the hitch is always in how much money i'd spend on gas driving into town every day. i don't know. my lease is up in 4 months (not soon, i know....) but i have to start thinking about what the next step is.
i just know all i can think about lately is coming home. i just want to come home.
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